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No Such Thing As The News: Series 1, Episode 5
Episode 5 is the fifth and final episode of series one of No Such Thing As The News. It features presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski and Dan Schreiber, and was filmed at Up The Creek Comedy Club, in Greenwich, London. Facts During the programme the four hosts each present their favourite fact from the week's news. * Mongolia is changing all of its addresses. (Schreiber) * The website addresses donaldtrumpsucks.com, iambeingsuedbythedonald.com and ihatetrumpvodka.com are all owned by Donald Trump. (Ptaszynski) * Dishes you can eat at the world's best restaurant include "Memory of a mortadella sandwich", "The crunchy part of the lasagne" and "Oops! I dropped the lemon tarte". (Harkin) * Britain's first robot office manager is called Betty and has a short-term contract in Milton Keynes. (Murray) Special Correspondence These facts were sent in by audience members. * From Felix Schultz: A woman in Germany recently saw a man bury something in the woodlands. She saw that he'd created a grave with a wooden cross, and so she called the police. A little coffin with the word "gherkie" on it was exhumed by the police. On opening it, they found a bit of mouldy old gherkin. (Ptaszynski) * From Tristan Oh: A 230-foot long replica of Noah's Ark collided with a moored Norwegian coastguard vessel when it arrived in Oslo. No animals were harmed because there were no animals on board. (Murray) * From the East Grinstead Courier via Tim Carney: A disqualified driver from East Sussex with no teeth was given a sixteen week suspended sentence for trying to resist arrest by sucking a police officer. (Harkin) Extra Facts At the end of the programme, the presenters each give one more fact they did not have time to discuss. * From an 1881 England v Wales football match report, Wales' first ever win over England: the final score was 1-0, and the only goal came after England's keeper was barged over as he threw the ball out. But the goal was allowed by the referee, Mr Segar Bastard. (Harkin) * From Bloomberg: A chemistry professor testing out a weed breathalyser, using students as guinea pigs, was puzzled when one of the students tested positive for drugs before the trial dose had even been administered. That was until the student remembered he'd just smoked a joint at breakfast. The chemistry professor's name is Herb. (Ptaszynski) * The youngest person on the Honours List is a 21-year-old who got it for his "extreme plumbing and heating prowess". (Schreiber) * From the New York Times: Nearly 4 years after Richard III was discovered under a car park in Leicester, archaeologists thing they may have discovered Henry I under a car park in Reading. "England is a nation of car drivers," said historian John Mullaney, "Henry was a reforming king, and would've been fascinated by the idea of cars and transport, and may well have ''liked ''being buried under a car park!" (Murray) Category:No Such Thing As The News Category:No Such Thing As A Fish